Weekend 2-2-13

What a week this has been. Not much happened, but somehow it was still exhausting.

I have no idea what I’m going to do this weekend, but I am fairly sure it will begin with sleep. There may also be Handel, and there will certainly be beer. I will also be playing a round of Let’s Clean The Bathroom! followed by a fully staged performance of Taking Out The Recycling. As an encore, I will be finding the broom. I may not sweep anything, but I will at the very least locate the appropriate implement. (As a person who knows a lot of scientists, I keep asking the question: given that biologists can engineer mice with whole arrays of terrifyingly specific qualities, why are there not docile, sweet-tempered fluffy mice that sweat pine-scented surfactants, so that you could just douse them with water and turn them loose in the house and they’d run around for an hour or so and the floor would be clean? With a special Brillo-bellied variety to use on the sink and the tub? I imagine these little mice – they live on soap dish scrapings and they poop Borax – squeaking and scuttling cheerfully around the legs of my kitchen chairs, and I can see no downside. Maybe they can even be bred with a specific sort of inner ear problem so that they run in little circles, thus ensuring the entire floor gets cleaned deeply and evenly. And afterwards you just rinse them off with cool water, feed them a bit of Irish Spring as a treat and they go to sleep in rows in a big sponge-lined tray.)

10 thoughts on “Weekend 2-2-13

      1. What about high-powered, bleach and stuff-tolerant scrubbing goldfish? That way they’d be decorative, too.


  1. If you will find such mice somewhere, please tell me where to get them 🙂 🙂

    Once upon a time there lived “Heinzelmännchen” (little people, familiar spirits, brownies?) in Cologne. Nobody had ever seen them, but they did all the work for the craftspeople of the town, while these where sleeping. They cleaned the rooms, did the laundry, they were baking and cooking, they did the work of the carpenter, of the butcher, of the tailor and so on. The inhabitans of cologne had a great time, but then the tailors nosy wife wanted to see them and she laid peas on the stairs. Because of this the Heinzelmännchen tumbled down the stairs, then disappeared and never came back…


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