Normally, the goal with these things is a happy ending . . .

An eagle-eyed associate of mine alerted me to this the other day:

If you’re marketing a vibrator that references an opera, at least try to pick one where the protagonist doesn’t kill herself in despair at the end.

[Obviously the amount of time I am willing to spend thinking up opera-themed ad copy for vibrators is greater than I originally supposed when I began to write this post small, but even off the top of my head, if it’s going to be operas or opera characters, wouldn’t “the Figaro” (“solid, witty and cheerful, Figaro always comes through in the end!”) or “the Vitellia” (“you won’t know what hit you, but you’ll keep coming back for more . . .”) or even “Tristan und Isolde” (“do you have five hours and a death wish?”) be preferable to anything relating to Puccini?]