Over the past few days Lincoln Center has sent me a series of alarming emails about the length of the will-call line for tonight’s concert – highly unusual number of will-call tickets, get there an hour early, etc. etc. Even though my ticket was mailed to me and I have it.
While we wait, let us consider what might be happening.
1. Mix-up with that MC Hawking song so instead of “all my shootings be drive bys” it’s “all my tickets be will call.”
2. Willy Wonka ticket machine that belches out the tickets broke, so all purchases within the past three weeks necessarily will-call b/c Oompa Loompas need time to hand-write tickets.
3. Cruise ship.
4. Only one person working counter; everyone else has fucked off to the beach.
5. That weird thing with the fountain happened again.
6. Welser-Möst claque up to its usual tricks.
7. The concert is actually oversold; they’re looking for volunteers to give up their seats in exchange for a voucher for future opera.